5 THINGS FAILURE CAN TEACH US
1. Where our weaknesses are. One important way champions set themselves apart is in their unrelenting desire to improve. They crave any information they can use to get better. The hard part is that failure can be a cruel and unmerciful teacher. It has a way of exposing our weaknesses and showing us – often painfully and sometimes even publically – where we aren’t good enough. The feedback failure provides can be really beneficial, but only if we're willing and able to accept it, examine it, and use it for growth. Many people fear being defined by their failure, so they work hard to ignore it or move past it – to forget it ever happened. But in reality, what they're actually ignoring and moving past is the information they could be using to learn and improve. Having our weaknesses exposed in the face of our failure isn’t fun, but it can be valuable…if we use it the right way.
2. What’s not working. Sometimes failure reveals that we aren’t good enough. Other times it reveals that while our ability is sufficient, our plan is not. If we’re after something big and important, then ability alone probably won’t be enough. We’ll also need to develop and then execute a strategy that puts us in the best position to win. Sometimes failure teaches us that our plan needs to improve. If that's the case, be humble enough to accept the truth and be willing to re-think your approach. It's also worth considering that sometimes it’s not the plan that’s the problem, but our execution of that plan. After all, even a great plan on its own isn't enough - we have to execute it. Execution requires focus and discipline and attention to detail. Without those things, even the best plan won't take us where we want to go, and until we commit to improving in those important areas, it’s likely our failure will continue to expose them.
3. How tough we really are. We all like to think we’re pretty tough, but failure usually strips away our perceptions and leaves us exposed to reality. For some people, failure reveals that they are who they thought or said or hoped they were, that they are tough enough to handle the adversity failure provides. That they possess the grit and the fortitude it takes to get back up and step back in the arena to try again. That they're willing and able to endure the pain or frustration or embarrassment of their poor performance. That they’re willing to change – even if it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable – because they see now that they have to. That they really do want this thing as bad as they said they did. For other people, though, failure teaches a more sobering lesson, that they aren’t actually who they pretended to be. That their toughness is counterfeit, and that maybe this pursuit doesn’t actually mean as much as they let on. Failure has a way of exposing the truth about our toughness, for better or for worse.
4. The difference between failure and struggle. One of the most important things failure can reveal is that what we’re experiencing isn’t actually failure at all. Often what we call a failure is actually just one part of a bigger struggle. Failure, after all, is a final outcome. It’s the end of a story - the conclusion, one marked with a period. Struggle, however, isn't an outcome. It's more like an ongoing process of dealing with the adversity that usually accompanies any worthy pursuit. When you’re struggling, you haven’t reached the end of the story yet. Struggle is marked by a comma, not a period. What’s happened has been written, but there’s still more to come. Often what we label a failure isn’t a dead end, but just a roadblock or a detour we’re required to maneuver moving forward. Sometimes we have to zoom out to see that our current difficulty is just part of the long road and the challenging process that real success requires, and that if we press on, we may find what we're looking for in spite of – or maybe even because of – this challenge we faced along the way.
5. Our response matters most. Of all the valuable lessons failure can teach us, maybe the most important often takes us the longest to validate. That is that in the face of failure, our response matters most. This is usually a long-term revelation because in the immediate aftermath of a failure, the easiest thing to do – and the thing that feels best, too – is to do what losers do. When they come up short, losers pout. They complain. They make excuses and avoid responsibility. They fall down, and they stay there. Even if those responses make us feel better in the short-term, it's important to see that these are some of the weakest and least productive choices we can make. In a moment of failure, it’s a lot harder to do what champions do. To accept responsibility, to examine what happened, and to figure out what it can teach us. To handle our defeat with class and dignity. To get back up and get back in the fight. When we choose the way of the champion, we realize in time that how we felt in the aftermath of our failure is much less important than how we chose to respond. Our feelings faded, but the winning choices we decided to make and the winning action we decided to take made an impact that lasts, likely even to this day.