Sports Parents: Preparing Beats Repairing
I know there are plenty of people out there who are very in-tune with their car – who are constantly thinking about it, constantly learning more about it, and constantly committed to taking great care of it…but that's never been me. I've never been a car guy. In fact, when auto makers mercifully decided a panel of warning lights on the dashboard was a worthy and necessary addition to a vehicle, they did it with people like me in mind. I'm embarrassed to admit how little I care.
Over time I have slowly and stubbornly learned, sometimes the hard way, that when it comes to car care, preparing beats repairing. It's become clear that preventative maintenance is the best maintenance, that paying attention to the warnings you’re given – instead of overlooking or ignoring them – can save you from an awful lot of trouble later on. It can help your vehicle handle the toll of daily wear and tear, not to mention the unexpected bumps, detours and roadblocks you may not see today but can bet will be part of the journey at some point. Without the foresight to heed the warnings and address the issues, your car will eventually break down. Ignore or dismiss the red flags today, and you’ll likely end up paying a higher price tomorrow.
In many ways the same principles apply to effective sports parenting. When it comes to raising and developing young athletes who reach their full potential – both in sports and in life – we’ve got two options: get busy preparing today, or get busy repairing tomorrow. Preparing our kids means first recognizing the reality of what becoming their best will require. Then it means committing each day to the process of teaching, training, and equipping them for that reality, and doing all we can to make sure they’re ready for the road ahead.
To reach their full potential, your child's going to need to develop their effort (their motor). They need to strengthen their toughness and resilience (the bumper and fender that limit the damage when they take a hit). They need to cultivate their attitude (the gas pedal that fuels their progress) and their perspective (the headlights that help them see things clearly). Those things will help your young athlete handle the daily toll of wear and tear, not to mention the unexpected bumps, detours and roadblocks you may not see today but can bet will be part of the journey at some point. You are responsible for teaching, training, and equipping - preparing your child - in these important areas.
You are also responsible for paying attention to the warning signs that something needs your attention. Remember, preventative maintenance is the best maintenance. Unfortunately, unlike a car, our kids don’t come with a dashboard full of lights and alerts when something needs addressed. (That’d be a nice feature, wouldn’t it?) But a parent who’s aware and in-tune themselves can usually spot a warning sign when it appears. If you see even a minor issue arising in your child, it's your job to address it.
Don't forget, putting off small problems today can create major problems later on. Don't be surprised, if that's what you choose, when eventually your child breaks down well short of their potential. And I'm not just talking about falling short as an athlete. With a defective effort or toughness, or a busted attitude or perspective, they won’t be fully prepared to live their best life beyond the game, either. Addressing the issues at that point will be costly and painful – for you and for them – that is, if fixing them is possible at all. The damage may be beyond repair.
If we ignore the warning signs and ruin our car, we can always trade it in for a new model. We can't say the same for our kids. There are no do-overs or trade-ins once their time with us is done. Of course eventually they’ll be the ones who have to decide for themselves who they want to be, but we shouldn’t dismiss the important role we play, and the important responsibility we have in that process. So be the kind parent who is in-tune with your young athlete's development - constantly thinking about them, constantly learning more about them, and constantly committed to taking great care of them. Be the parent who works hard preparing today, so you don't have to work harder repairing tomorrow.