COMMITMENTS - MADE vs. KEPT
Commitment is one of those words we use a lot in the important areas of life and performance. There are many different ways to define it, but commitment is really the promise or the pledge we make to do the things winning requires us to do. Making a commitment is an important first step on the road to success.
But while most of us are pretty good at making commitments, we aren’t nearly as good at keeping them. You can find this evidence everywhere. Each New Year’s millions of people make resolutions about what they’re gonna do or who they’re gonna be as the calendar turns, but only about half of those resolutions even make it through January. Nearly 40% of American marriages end in divorce, despite their public declaration to love one another for better or for worse. Even in college sports, there’s an epidemic of athletes who make a commitment to a particular school, only to enter the transfer portal shortly thereafter.
I’m not here trying to villainize anyone who’s chosen to break a resolution, end a marriage, or transfer colleges. There are plenty of valid reasons to make any of those decisions, and there isn't one of us who hasn't failed - at least in some area of life - to keep a commitment we've made. I only use those examples to highlight that when each of those people made those commitments, they meant them. Those were pledges and promises they believed in and felt committed to. None of us make commitments intending to break them. So why, then, are broken commitments so common, and for those of us here who really want to win in some important area of life, what is the key to becoming the kind of person capable not just of making a commitment, but of keeping one?
Broken commitments are so common because the majority of us make decisions based on our feelings. We make commitments in our moments of motivation or inspiration. The problem with feelings - even the good ones - is that they’re temporary. Feelings are fickle. They ebb and flow for everyone. Commitments built on a foundation of feelings are flimsy and fragile...and for that reason, destined to fail.
People who keep their commitments recognize that feelings are not an effective driver of their decisions. They've accepted the harsh reality of high achievement, that if what you’re after is meaningful and significant, then you have to accept that challenge and adversity will be a regular part of the experience. There will be moments of disappointment and discouragement, of apathy and indifference, of fatigue and frustration. All those feelings will be part of the journey, and each one offers you an off ramp on your road to success.
That’s the reason developing your discipline is so important. Discipline is the ability to do what winning requires you to do, regardless of how it feels. Discipline allows you to make the difficult but important decisions your very best in life and performance requires you to make, even when - and maybe especially when - you don’t feel like it. Discipline allows you to get off the rollercoaster of your feelings, and in its place to choose a more consistent and more productive approach. It’s the key component in turning commitments made into commitments kept.
The best news for each of us here today is that discipline is a skill we can cultivate and develop. Sure, like any winning ability, it comes more naturally for some than it does for others. But if more discipline is something any of us want to possess, then more discipline is something we can possess.
Developing your discipline starts with diminishing the power and authority of your feelings. Those feelings - both good and bad - are important, of course, but they are not an effective driver of your decisions. They can come along for the ride, but they shouldn't be allowed to sit in the driver’s seat. They need to move to the backseat instead. In making that decision, you create some space for your discipline to drive. Now, even if you don’t feel like it, you can make the decisions you know winning requires you to make. Every time you do that, you strengthen your level of discipline for next time, and in doing so, you continue to become the kind of person who can do more than simply make a commitment. You become the kind of person who can keep one.