DO YOU NEED TO GET TOUGHER?
Mental toughness can be defined a number of ways. I think of it simply as the ability to do what winning requires us to do, regardless of and maybe even in spite of how it feels. Our level of mental toughness speaks to our resilience, our discipline, and our commitment. It’s a quality we recognize is important and something each of us wants to possess.
That's why you rarely hear people admit that their toughness isn't where it needs to be. Many of us talk a big game, only to find that when our moment of testing comes, we don’t have what it takes to succeed. It's worth taking a minute today to evaluate your current level of toughness, but honestly I’m less concerned with what’s gotten you here to this point, and more concerned with what winning will require from you moving forward. The question I’m asking is not, are you tough? The question I’m asking is, do you need to get tougher?
The winning answer, of course, is absolutely you do. There are a number of reasons why. The first reason you need to get tougher is because you can. Toughness isn’t a fixed trait that’s been programmed into our DNA, it’s a skill that we can cultivate and develop. If more toughness is something you want to possess, then you should be encouraged by the fact that more toughness is something you can possess. Additionally, if winning is really important to you, then building your toughness isn't just something you can do. It's something you need to do.
If more toughness is something you want to possess, then you should be encouraged by the fact that more toughness is something you can possess.
So how do you get tougher? Simple. You get tougher by doing tough things. I like to think of developing our mental toughness the same way we develop our physical toughness - by training it. Think about the way our bodies are naturally hard-wired to build some resilience. If your hands, for instance, are weak and fragile, what happens when you really put them to the test? The hard work - the friction of arduous activity - causes them to blister and bleed. Your hands pay a painful price when they aren’t prepared for the friction.
But how does your skin respond once it’s been wounded? As it recovers, it recognizes that some toughness in that particular area is necessary, and it adjusts accordingly. That skin grows back stronger and more resilient than it was before. Gradually, calluses start to form in those places where some toughness is required. Then, the difficult work doesn’t wound us. In fact, once that toughness starts to emerge where we need it, that difficult work only strengthens those calluses more, and prepares our hands for even bigger challenges to come. This process hurts, of course, and it takes time...but it works. Our hands get tough by doing tough things.
Our minds work the same way. The moments of testing we face in life expose where we're weak and fragile. That friction can come in many different forms, but it has a way of wounding those who aren't tough enough. Those moments can be painful, but the more we identify and embrace them, the tougher we become, and the more we recognize that the difficult moments we face - even the ones that used to wound us - now serve to strengthen and prepare us for even bigger challenges to come.
That analogy clarifies another reason we need to get tougher, because just as toughness can be built, it can be lost, too. If we quit putting our hands to work, what happens? Slowly and gradually - maybe without even noticing - those calluses begin to fade. Keep them from the friction for long and they’ll be back to their weak and fragile state in no time. Our minds are no different. Choosing to regularly train and test ourselves keeps our toughness intact, and keeps us from losing what we’ve worked hard to build.
Your current level of toughness has gotten you this far, but champions recognize that doing more will require more. This is the last reason why you need to get tougher, because there’s no telling what unexpected challenges future success will require you to handle, and what kind of unwanted or unwelcome adversity it will require you to overcome. All you can do is prepare. That means identifying and embracing the training opportunities that today provides. It means doing what success requires you to do, regardless of and maybe even in spite of how it feels. It means recognizing that if you really want to win, you've got to keep getting tougher.