HOW WELL DO YOU STRUGGLE?
Nobody likes to struggle. Even when it’s deemed necessary or productive, it’s no fun. That's because our mind is naturally hard-wired to find the path of least resistance, and our ego prefers to maintain this counterfeit facade of effortless perfection. It’s easier, more comfortable, and more convenient to make it look like we have it all together than it is to embrace the awkward and rather unpleasant reality that comes with struggling in any area of life.
But the truth is, struggling is typically an important element in our eventual success. If we use it the right way, struggling can take us somewhere we never could have gone without it. Struggling teaches us. It sharpens our skill and forces us to get better. It helps us develop the fortitude and the resilience that winning requires us to possess.
So each of us has to decide what we do with that tension that exists between the important place struggling has in our experience and the natural inclination we feel to avoid it. How we handle that tension is important because who we decide to be in our moments of struggle determines, in many ways, just how worthy we are of winning. If you want to win in some important area of your life, it’s worth considering today this awkward and rather unpleasant question…how well do you struggle?
Who we decide to be in our moments of struggle determines, in many ways, just how worthy we are of winning.
To help you evaluate yourself in this area, let’s look at two different approaches to struggling: the champion’s approach (the elite struggler) vs. the loser’s approach (the struggling struggler)...
Elite strugglers are characterized by their ability to zoom out and see the big picture. They are process-oriented. This perspective allows them to accept and even embrace the long, slow, sometimes painful journey that success requires. It encourages and empowers them even when things get tough. Elite strugglers recognize that today matters, and that maximizing its potential means controlling the controllables...even when it's difficult. They take ownership of their attitude, their effort, and their response to this adversity.
Struggling strugglers do just the opposite. They have a tendency to zoom in and give a negative outcome or difficult experience too much weight and authority. That burden weighs heavy on their mindset and their approach. It magnifies the unfairness of their situation and promotes a victim mentality. It focuses the loser’s attention on the elements of the experience that exist outside their control, and encourages them to take the easy way out. Blame. Complain. Avoid ownership and the responsibility that comes with it.
For elite strugglers, that winning perspective allows them to exhibit the toughness and the courage it takes to keep showing up and stepping in the arena, even if their performance isn't pretty. They are committed to competing. Struggling strugglers, on the other hand, are driven primarily by fear. The ugliness and awkwardness of this challenge exposes their imperfections and threatens their ego. Their fear of failure, fear of looking bad, or fear of criticism keeps them out of the arena and away from the fight.
Seeing the big picture also allows elite strugglers to maintain their confidence and their belief. They possess an almost irrational sense of hope in the midst of their challenges, an unwavering vision for where they're headed, and an unshakeable trust that they'll get there. Struggling strugglers, on the other hand, are characterized by a confidence that’s fragile, a belief that’s flimsy, and a hope that's easily extinguished.
Finally, elite strugglers are committed to keep getting better. Despite the challenges, they recognize that there’s a lot they can learn - and a lot they need to learn - as part of this process. They’re constantly working to uncover what this adversity has to teach them. Struggling strugglers aren't focused on getting better. They’re too busy getting bitter. They see this challenging experience as their enemy instead of their ally, and in doing so miss out on all it has to offer.
As you can see, you have a choice to make in the midst of your struggle. You can do what losers do and take the easy way out - find the path of least resistance, avoid the arena, and work hard instead to maintain some counterfeit facade of effortless perfection. Or you can do what champions do. See the big picture. Control the controllables. Exhibit some toughness and some courage. Strengthen your confidence and your belief, and no matter what, keep getting better. I’d encourage you to decide now - before you ever find yourself in the midst of the struggle - who it is you want to be. That choice will determine your perspective and your approach, and determine just how worthy you are of winning.