MAINTAIN YOUR BALANCE
I’ll never forget a humiliating lesson I learned about money management years ago. When I first opened a bank account of my own – back before the days of apps and websites – banking was only done in person, at the bank. One day I pulled into the drive-thru teller, told her my account number, and requested some cash. After what seemed like a longer than usual delay, I finally heard her voice through the speaker. “Mr. Daugherty,” she said uncomfortably…“can you come inside?”
As a broke teenager, my stomach dropped. I knew instantly where this was headed. No one calls you "Mister" at that age unless you're in trouble. I parked my car and went embarrassingly in to meet her, where she politely laid out for me in writing what I already knew to be true. It’s the basic principle of banking: you can't withdrawal until you’ve chosen first to deposit. You are in charge of maintaining your balance.
I want to apply that same principle today to a role that so many of us play as parents, coaches, and even professionals. In any area of leadership – as you work to positively influence the people in your care – you can't withdrawal until you’ve chosen first to deposit. You are in charge of maintaining your balance.
Deposits are the positive investments we choose to make in the lives of our people. It’s the support and encouragement we provide. We transfer something valuable to them when we validate their winning behavior, when we affirm their effort, and when we celebrate their success. Deposits like these are so important because they are so empowering. They fill our followers up, give them confidence, and inspire them to keep plugging away in pursuit of their goals.
In leadership, like in banking, withdrawals are also an important part of the process. There is a necessary give and take. A withdrawal might be holding someone accountable to the high standard you have for their performance. It might be communicating with them that they’ve fallen short of your expectations and that you believe they can, and need to do better. It might be coaching them hard or correcting their mistakes in order to help them improve. Ultimately it's about raising the bar and challenging them to meet it. Withdrawals aren't always fun, but they do play an important role in helping our people reach their potential.
While effective money management is all about balancing our transactions, effective leadership is all about balancing our interactions. The truth is, our people will never become their best if we don’t hold them accountable to a high standard. They need us to coach them hard, to correct their mistakes, and to keep raising the bar for their performance. But we can’t do that important work unless we’re just as committed – or maybe even more committed – to filling them up and encouraging them, too.
That's why it's so important to recognize and take advantage of the opportunities we have to invest in those we lead. Legendary basketball coach and 11-time NBA champion Phil Jackson said that as a leader, he believes the best ratio of specific, truthful positive praise (deposits) to specific, constructive criticism (withdrawals) should be 5:1. He believed as a coach that he was more likely around 3:1. Even so, that’s a healthy collection of positive interactions he banked with his players. By doing so, when it came time to coach someone hard, to call them out, or to hold them accountable, there was plenty of equity to pull from. The same should be true for each of us. When we intentionally choose to fill our people up, we earn the right to make those necessary withdrawals.
It may be worth considering today what your ratio of deposits to withdrawals looks like. When you really start paying attention, you may find there’s a reason your leadership is falling flat. If Phil Jackson knew his people needed at least a 3:1 ratio of deposits to withdrawals – pro athletes, mind you, performing at the top of their game and getting paid millions of dollars – then what is it that our people need? At least that much encouragement, and likely more!
If you’re leadership is out of balance, consider me that teller who’s laying out for you in writing what you probably already know to be true: you can only withdrawal what you've chosen first to deposit. Making this kind of commitment and maintaining this kind of balance isn’t easy, but building that equity is so important. You'll need it to bring out the best in your people and help them reach their full potential. You can take that to the bank.