OWN YOUR EXPERIENCE
When it comes to proving how worthy you are of winning in any area of life, one of the biggest tests you’re given involves the elements of the experience that exist outside your control. There are always challenges beyond your reach that complicate your pursuit. Maybe it’s the behavior or decisions of other people, like a boss, a coach, a co-worker, or a teammate. Maybe it's the unfavorable conditions you have to compete in. Maybe it's just a stroke of bad luck that's come your way. What are some of uncontrollable elements that have a way of complicating your pursuit?
Whatever they are, the attention and the authority you choose to give them serves as a key determiner of your success. I want to challenge and encourage you today to step back and evaluate the place you’ve given those variables you can’t control, and, despite their existence, to make the difficult choice that winning requires from you - to do what champions do, and own your experience.
Owning your experience means focusing more attention and authority on the elements of this pursuit that you do control. That's usually not an easy, comfortable, or convenient decision to make. That’s because your inner loser is constantly highlighting the unfairness of your situation, and begging you to give more of your attention and more of your authority away. Your inner loser wants you to dwell on how you’ve been cheated, focus on what’s not fair, and lament the long list of excuses for why things are so hard. Your inner loser wants you to think and act like a victim.
Your inner loser wants you to think and act like a victim.
The problem with this approach is obvious when you recognize the reality of what real, authentic achievement requires. The truth is, there will always be challenges on the road to success. Overcoming those challenges is part of the price that winning requires you to pay. When you allow that victim mentality to take root - when you cultivate that weak, fragile mindset - you start to see more and more of those challenges, even those you can and need to overcome, as the very reason you can’t win. The more you dwell on how you’ve been cheated, on what’s not fair, and on the long list of excuses for why things are so hard, the easier it is to find an even softer and sorrier reason to give up the fight and accept losing next time. The more you practice this victim mentality, the better at it you become.
Making the difficult choice to own your experience, on the other hand, changes your focus and your mentality. Your inner champion doesn’t necessarily negate the reality of all those uncontrollable elements, but it does diminish the attention and the authority they deserve. Instead, your inner champion highlights the areas where you aren’t doing everything in your power, the areas where you can take more responsibility, and the areas where you need to improve. Instead of thinking and acting like the victim, your inner champion encourages you to quit dwelling on all those things outside your control, and empowers you instead to do what winning requires in spite of them.
Your inner champion encourages you to quit dwelling on all those things outside your control, and empowers you instead to do what winning requires in spite of them.
I’m not implying here today that those uncontrollable elements don’t play a part in your experience. They do. And I’m not implying that you need to take responsibility for things you can't control. You don’t. You're not responsible for deciding what other people choose to say or do. You don’t get to control the conditions in which you’re forced to compete, or some stroke of bad luck that comes your way.
What I am saying today is that your level of ownership is one clear indicator of just how worthy you are of winning. If you’d rather take the easy way out and focus on how you’ve been cheated, on what’s not fair, or on the long list of excuses for why things are so hard? If you’d rather give your power away than take responsibility for yourself? Then you’ll fit right in with those on the losing side of the ledger.
Making the alternative choice, on the other hand, is tough. But the more you practice thinking and behaving like a champion - the more you choose to own your experience - the better at it you get. The more control you have over the experience you create, and the more worthy of winning you become.