How Do You Parent an Athlete?

Sports parenting is a complex and often difficult position to navigate. How involved should you be in your child’s sporting activities without crossing boundaries that lead to an unhealthy or unproductive experience? The answer is unique to you and your child, but evidence suggests that children need support and praise to be successful and have fun in their sporting endeavors. Without that positive influence, sports parents can easily drive their child away from playing, and ultimately do more harm than good. 

Thankfully, there are sports parent resources available for you to better understand the relationship parents should have with their child and sports. These resources for parents of athletes are meant to guide you in making your child’s experience the best it can be. The roles and responsibilities of parents in sports have a lasting impact and should be considered when it comes to creating the most fun and most meaningful experience possible.

What Are the Roles for Parents in Sports?

Here’s the truth: Champions breed champions. A parent's attitude, perspective, and decisions play a critical role in their children's athletic development. The proper parental support may help a child have a positive, early sports experience that will inspire them to continue engaging in sports with enthusiasm. So, what is positive parent behavior in sports?

Role Model

There’s no doubt your kids look up to you. They pick up on your emotional cues, watch how you respond to certain situations, and apply what they see to their own responses. You’re always under their watchful eyes, and how you act during sporting activities is no exception. It might be hard to control your emotions if your child is on the bench or you think there is a bad call, but you need to model winning behavior in those challenging moments by being respectful, empathetic, and understanding. The most effective and most authentic teaching tool we have at our disposal is our own powerful example.

Support System

There are many more types of “support” than simply paying for kids’ participation or transporting them. When kids need to be heard after a grueling game or practice, set your distractions aside and listen. Like everyone, children are emotionally complex and have difficulties when challenged mentally and physically. Empathize with them. Confirm that what they're going through is typical among athletes and be willing to offer thoughtful, strategic insight when it's appropriate. Athletes need strong, specific words of encouragement to remind them that failing is okay as long as they try their best to succeed.

Fan

True fans cheer on their team and stay positive during a game. Being your kids’ #1 fan and encouraging them to succeed by being present, paying attention, and showing support from the stands will not go unnoticed. This will build up the confidence they need to push themselves and have fun while doing it. 

Coach

At some point you might want to coach your child and their peers’ sports activities. Effective coaching - providing meaningful instruction, holding kids to a high standard, and still managing to build their confidence - takes effort and intentionality. Use the opportunity to work with your child in a team environment. When it's done effectively, coaching can build up your relationship with your child and allow you the opportunity to tailor their experience to their needs. 

Inspiration

Kids are impressionable. If you wear a sports team’s jersey, watch sports on television or in person, or even just talk about the game casually, your child may also gain interest. It can be a bonding experience over something you both love and appreciate. Being an inspiration is bigger than influencing your child; it can also be a way to bond with them.

If you cheer on your team and encourage your child through good and bad experiences alike, you’ll help them build confidence, grow emotionally and physically, and most importantly, have fun.

Are Overbearing Sports Parents Harmful?

Sometimes parents take youth sports too seriously. Even with good intentions, a parent's actions may be misinterpreted, contributing to a lack of enthusiasm and sports participation. When you make your child feel that your love and encouragement are conditional based on their performance, significant problems between you and your children may arise. 

An International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health study found that “excessive parental involvement can cause pressure on children who would prefer parental participation characterized by praise and understanding.” Not only that, but the National Federation of High School Associations polled 2,000 high school athletic directors, and 62.3 percent stated "dealing with aggressive parents and adult fans" was the part of their job they disliked the most. Being aggressive and overbearing impacts your kids, but it also affects coaches and administrators. Being rude, disrespectful, or verbally abusive are never acceptable behaviors at sporting events.

Negative parental involvement in sports can take shape in many forms. If you’ve yelled at coaches or put unnecessary pressure on your kids by critiquing their performance or setting unfair or unrealistic expectations, it’s possible your children feel overwhelmed with your involvement. Those behaviors are not conducive to children’s growth and development, inside or outside of sports.

How to Help Your Child Excel in Sports

Do you want to help your child to become a champion? At Champions 101, I provide resources with study guides, posters, and shareable images. I have also set up an online curriculum with in-depth courses to help parents, coaches, and athletes reach their full potential. Champions aren’t born. They’re built. Champions 101 will make you a better supporter, educator, and player. Visit the Champions 101 website to learn more.