THE COURAGE TO CONFRONT
I’m thinking today about two different types of losing teams, and wondering which one you might be a part of...
Team number one is made up of individuals who say they really want to win. But as their time and experience together goes on, their commitment to doing what winning requires - like it does for many teams - begins to fade. There are choices being made and things being done that stand in obvious opposition to the team's winning pursuit. The problem is, no one in the group is aware enough or intelligent enough to recognize that detrimental behavior. They have no idea they are missing the mark. As their time together continues, the team moves progressively further from its potential, and soon - sadly - real success for them is no longer an option.
Team number two is made up of individuals who also say they really want to win. But again, time and experience diminishes their commitment to doing what winning requires. There are choices being made and things being done that stand in obvious opposition to the team's winning pursuit. And while everyone on this team is aware enough and intelligent enough to recognize that detrimental behavior, the problem is no one has the courage to confront it. As their time together continues, the team moves progressively further from its potential, and soon - sadly - real success for them is no longer an option.
Both types of these teams are out there today, and it’s possible - likely, even - that you’re a part of one of them. There are some teams unwittingly doing what losers do. They aren’t working hard enough. They aren’t treating each other right. They aren’t meeting the standard that winning requires…and they have no idea. They are utterly oblivious to the fact that this isn’t the way, and so they continue mindlessly marching their way toward mediocrity. You may be a member of a team like this today. But I doubt it.
More likely, you're part of a team made up of members who are doing what losers do, and you’re fully aware of it. The people on your team aren’t working hard enough. They aren’t treating each other right. They aren’t meeting the standard that winning requires…and you know it. And yet, even with that knowledge, you're standing idly by, unwilling to confront what you know is killing your team and its potential.
That willingness to confront is actually a key component of a winning team experience. But while challenging behavior that doesn't meet your winning standard is important, it’s also scary. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, and even the idea of it leaves many of us feeling conflicted. There's the need to address those issues, sure, but there's also the fear of what might happen if we do. Our care for the team and our commitment to winning may be strong, but that fear is even stronger. That's why we don't act. We recognize the problem. We worry about the problem. We might even complain about the problem. But because we don’t confront the problem, we ultimately end up avoiding and therefore accepting the problem. And, if we’re really honest, accepting too that our team isn't worthy of the winning outcome we said we were after.
If you recognize that your team isn't meeting the standard, I want to challenge and encourage you today to cultivate the courage to confront. Put your care for the team and your commitment to winning ahead of your fear, and do what your team's success requires you to do. You should of course be intentional about how you go about doing it. Confrontation has an adversarial connotation, but it’s possible - and necessary, probably - to confront the issues on your team both courageously and respectfully. Of course there are no guarantees on how your teammates will respond. Hopefully they'll acknowledge their missteps, own their responsibility, and appreciate your care for the team and your commitment to winning. But even if they don’t, there’s pride in knowing you did the hard but necessary thing your team’s success needed you to do.
The only guarantee is that giving into your fear and choosing not to act will keep your team from reaching its potential. You’ll have to accept that it wasn’t awareness or intelligence you and your team lacked, but courage. Don't let that happen. Now is the time to muster up some strength and avoid the regret that accompanies any decision driven by fear. Do what your team’s very best requires you to do. Have the hard conversations. Address the issues. Confront that losing behavior, so you can eliminate it and win.
